What can we learn from Alysa Liu?

I can't stop thinking about Alysa Liu's irrepressible joy at the end of her gold medal-winning performance at the Winter Olympic Games. If you haven't seen it, you can watch it here.

At the end of her routine, we can see that she had won—not the gold medal, but her own goal of performing with freedom and a sense of fun in a peak moment.

How did she arrive at this peak moment?

Alysa's Olympic performance was the pinnacle of a remarkable comeback. She quit her already decorated skating career at age 16, saying that she wanted to experience more of life. She literally stepped away from the rink and took a pause. Doing things kids her age typically do, she got her driver's license, started college, hiked, and skied with friends. Then, after two and a half years away from the ice, she returned to training with a fresh perspective and a renewed passion for skating.

Living a rich life

We all weave the threads of our life experiences together toward our goals, and I believe that Alysa learned in that pause that we're more than what we do. As a musician, I believed that my playing reflected the travels I enjoyed, the novels I adored, and the art that I loved.

Our identity is built on a balance and richness of experiences—whatever makes us each more fully human. For some, it may be time in nature, time with family and friends, time with hobbies, sports, or artistic pursuits. When we bring all of who we are toward our goals, living a balanced and rich life can strengthen us.

Letting go of outcome

As she approached the Olympics, Alysa was heard to say, "I don't need a medal. I just want a stage." She found lightness in letting go of outward goals, exclaiming, "That was so fun!" Alysa had shifted from external obligations and pressures to her internal choice to skate for fun. She had moved from seeking a singular medal to an experience where she could be in the joy of her body, dancing, flying, and spinning across the ice.

When I was preparing for orchestra auditions early in my career, I learned a tough lesson when I failed to win a position I was determined to have. My goal was to win the job, something that was not in my control. Only in the devastating aftermath did I learn that our goals need to be things we have an effect on. Once I learned to focus on my internal goals of presence and expression, and my physical goals of playing with precision and confidence, I found success, no matter the outcome. Letting go of the outcome brought me freedom and a higher level of performance.

How does letting go of outcome help in our daily lives? If we're preparing for a job interview, an exam, a presentation, or a physical challenge like running a race, we can focus on our process. The way we approach our goal can make the difference between clutching at an outcome and finding our best selves in the moment.

Finding authenticity

When Alysa returned to skating, she was building on a foundation of discipline, years of grueling work, and clearly, a boatload of talent. But she returned on her terms. She sought to highlight her creativity, the flow in her routines, and her authentic presence.

She took ownership of her preparation and training, choosing her own music and costumes. Instead of a "have to" approach, Alysa came back with a self-directed "want to" attitude. She took charge of her choreography, her costumes, her unique and meaningful hair colors, and an unusual piercing, all in the name of her own artistic expression.

In her preparation for the Olympics, Alysa overcame the pressure of high-level competition by focusing on the enjoyment and pleasure of skating, rather than winning the gold medal. She combined intense, self-directed practice with a sense of fun to avoid the burnout of her earlier career.

Finding partnership

Alysa chose her coaches for her return to skating because of the collaborative spirit they brought to coaching. They respected her choices, her desires and dreams for the path forward. In coaching, we focus on partnership instead of advice or control, to bring forward our most authentic selves.

If you or someone you know is seeking partnership on a journey toward a new goal, a new identity, or a new way of being in the world, feel free to reach out for a complimentary discovery session to explore how coaching might support your journey.

Alysa's story offers so many lessons about letting go, finding joy in the process, and honoring what we need to thrive. I'm curious—what resonates most with you in her journey? I'd love to hear your takeaways.